goodbye will come

How can I move on?

when you're all I want

when you're all i see

I breath you in

when you hold me close

I break in your arms

taken over, you have me

do you not understand it?

neither do I

at some point i will say goodbye

that time has yet to come

until then I will hurt

but soon i hope

I will heal.

no need to hide

to stare in to the darkness

and beg for it's consumption

suicide

they all may think

but i know different

yes i know true

disarm the sun

and any light

that may return you here

you want the pain

you want the shame

and yet you shed no tears

the tainted thoughts are welcomed

and yet they don't see why

for all is well in darkness

for there is no need to hide.

How is it that i can be so JEALOUS of the one person
i want to spend the rest of my life with? How is it
I have this heart wrenching feeling of emptiness and
being alone because of this small aspect of my life?
I can't seem to keep it together.

i know where these feeling come from, that one is the
easy part to figure out...I'm jealous because he can get
help to get the things he wants, his parents help him
they can afford it...i feel empty and lonely b/c my family
can't help me. They can BARELY afford life as it is, and here
i am being selfish b/c i want nice things and can't have them.

I am just really bumming because i can't have nice things.
Also the fact that I am jobless does not help at all, and when
I do have a job all my money is gone to stupid things for him
and he says he will give it back but i don't really see that money